She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
