You can't motorboat a personality
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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