This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize