ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
