Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
