At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
