I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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