Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
