Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
