What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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