so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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