I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
