sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
