i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am midnight drunk by noon
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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