I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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