Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
