I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
