Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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