Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
