how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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