I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
