I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
