we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
