Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
