are you still at the devil's house?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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