i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You need a sexual gate keeper
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
