she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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