I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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