break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
