Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
