what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
