This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Be still, my beating vagina.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
