Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
