I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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