: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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