If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
