community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
