i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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