apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
