in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
