do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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