she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
