At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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