The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
