You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
