D3 body, D1 cock
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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