i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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