Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
