Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
