Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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