Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
