it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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