I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
