no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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