i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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