Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize