Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
