# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
