My room smells like vodka and shame
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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