At least make sure they are 18
Why
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize