he wants to bone in the snuggie
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My cat gives me a boner
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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