this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
