put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
