well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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