i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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