i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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