"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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